We Love Basketball
by kirbyfan64
Summary: Two characters from the two most popular Nicktoons ever face off in a game of basketball.
1. The Game Starts

It was a nice day, Spongebob and Patrick were in the gym playing basketball. Except they had a bunch of their own rules. All their rules made the game 300 times more complicated. The only ones that are easy to explain are that you get nine points for slam dunking and five points if someone on the other team goes out of bounds. Their new rules made it go on for hours and hours until Spongebob finally made the game winning shot. The game ended 75 to 19.

Spongebob: Whoa! That game's fun!

Patrick: I know, I just wish there was a way we could play together instead of against eachother.

Spongebob: Yeah me too.

All of a sudden Tommy and Chuckie walked through the doors.

Tommy: Hi Spongebob, hi Patrick.

Chuckie: Hi Spongebob, hi Patrick.

Tommy: What you guys doin'?

Spongebob: We just finished a game of Spongebob1 on 1Patrick.

Tommy: Sounds like fun, can we play?

Patrick: Sure, except it'll have to be called Spongebob and Patirck2 on 2 Tommy and Chuckie.

Chuckie: I don't know Tommy this sounds cinda scary.

Tommy: Chuckie, any game that has a ball in it can't be anything bad.

Some fish dressed in nice clothes came out of nowhere.

That Fish: Hello.

Patrick: Who are you?

That Fish: I am Perch Perkin's brother's daughter's cousin's uncle's father's mother's half brother's father's aunt's cousin's next door neighbor. But you can call me Bert Traffics.

Chuckie: Well Mr. Traffics, wha are you gonna do here?

Bert Traffics: I am here to broadcast this basketball game the four of you are about to play.

Tommy: Oh, so you're like an announcer guy.

Bert Traffics: Yes, but is it ok if we play by regular basketball rules?

Patrick: Why?

Bert Traffics: Because I'm new at this broadcasting thing, and uh... your rules were just a little too much for me.

Spongebob: Ok then.

Tommy, Chuckie, Spongebob, and Patrick then went to the locker room to change into their uniforms. Bert Traffics then turned around and a crowd of thousands of people magically appeared.

Bert Traffics: People, are you ready to rumble?

Crowd: YEAH!

Bert Traffics: Good, because today the most anticipated game of the Nicktoons Basketball season shall we brought to you live!

Crowd: YEAH!

Bert Traffics turned back around.

Bert Traffics: Right after this commercial break.

Crowd: AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!


	2. The First Quarter

Bert Traffics: Ok everybody the teams are ready!

Crowd: Yeah!

Bert Traffics: Ok, today's match-up will be team Spongebob and Patrick...

Crowd: Yeah!

Bert Traffics: ...and team Tommy and Chuckie!

Crowd: Yeah!

All the players came to center court where they met the referee.

Referee: Ok guys, I wnat this game to be...

Patrick: Just toss the ball in the air!

Referee: Well fine Mr. Bossy.

The referee threw the ball in the air and Spongebob caught it.

Traffics: Spongebob gets the tip-off. Wait a minute...oooh Tommy steals it!

Traffics: Look at that Tommy scores from all the way across the court! Unbelievable!

Spongebob: I still want us to win, but that was awesome.

The game went on for another 8 minutes and Spongebob and Patrick were having a hard time scoring.

Traffics: With ten seconds left, Chuckie has the ball, he shoots...he scores! 3 points for team Tommy and Chuckie!

Scoreboard: Beep!

Tommy and Chuckie started crying because the noise scared them. Then Patrick and Spongebob went to their locker room.

Traffics: The score is now 21 to 5 with team Tommy and Chuckie in the lead.

Spongebob: I can't believe it Patrick.

Patrick: You can't believe what?

Spongebob: We're losing to a couple of infants!

Patrick: Well remember this Spongebob, some of the best basketball players in the world are the young ones.

Spongebob: True, but usually they're at an age where they know how to count.


	3. The Second Quarter

Traffics: Time for the second quarter!

Crowd: Yeah!

Patrick: Spongebob what are we gonna do?

Spongebob: What do you mean?

Patrick: Tommy and Chuckie I just gonna kick our buts again.

Spongebob: I wouldn't say that.

Spongebob opened his hand and there was two gumballs.

Patrick: What are those things?

Spongebob: They are gumballs that make you go faster.

Patrick: Where did you get them?

Spongebob: It's a long story.

Spongebob and Patrick then chewed the gumballs.

Tommy: Ok Chuckie let's go finish the game.

Chuckie: You mean it's not over!

Tommy: It's not even close to being over. We still have to play 3 more little games of it.

Chuckie: I don't think this is such a good idea.

Tommy: Oh come on, don't be such a baby.

Chuckie: Ok fine.

The second quarter went on for three and a half minutes until Chuckie became so tired that he fell asleep right on the court. Tommy had the ball but he gave it to Spongebob because he needed to wake Chuckie up. Tommy ran over to him and started shaking him around.

Tommy: Chuckie wake up!

Chuckie then woke up.

Chuckie: What? Is the game over yet?

Tommy: No, Patrick just scored and now it's our turn with the ball.

Chuckie: All this basketball talk is making my head hurt.

Traffics: With about 8 minutes left in the game, Chuckie has the ball and he passes to Chuckie. He's dribbling, he's dribbling, he's dribbling, he's dribbling, he's dribbling and drooling. He shoots...he misses.

Crowd: AAAAAWWWW!

Traffics: 7 minutes and 40 seconds left, it's 35 to 15 with team Spongebob and Patrick in the lead, and Tommy rebounds!

Crowd: Yeah!

Traffics: Tommy backs up a little, he shoots...and he scores!

Crowd: Yeah!

Traffics: It's now 35 to 17, what an intense game today!

For the rest of the quarter Spongebob and Patrick's gumballs made them go so fast, that when they ran to the basket they would go out of bounds. So for the rest of the quarter they couldn't score a single point.

Traffics: The 2nd quarter is over! The score is now 40 to 35, team Tommy and Chuckie are in the lead!

Crowd: Yeah!

Spongebob: I can't believe the special gum made us go too fast.

Patrick: Actually it didn't because we each ate two.

Spongebob: Patrick I only had one.

Patrick: I don't understand, you said we should each take two.

Spongebob: No I said taking two would be extremely dangerous.

Patrick: Well that's weird because nothing's happening.

Patrick's legs started twirling around so fast that they looked like circles. The next thing he knew, Patrick ran outside and couldn't stop.

Spongebob: Patrick, where are you going?

Patrick: I don't know!

After 10 seconds Patrick came back in through the other side of the gym and right next to Spongebob when he finally stopped.

Spongebob: Oh there you are.

Spongebob then laughed.


	4. Half Time!

Spongebob, Patrick, Tommy, and Chuckie went to their locker rooms.

Chuckie: This is fun!

When Tommy and Chuckie walked into theirs, Angelica was the very first thing they saw.

Angelica: Fun! You think this is about having fun.

Tommy: Well yeah.

Angelica: Well it's not, it's about winning! It's about being better than everybody else! It's about beating Spongebob and Patrick so much that everybody in The Kini Bottom cries!

Some thunder came out of nowhere and Angelica looked up while giving an evil laugh.

Tommy: I don't know Angelica, that doesn't sound very nice.

Angelica: Just because it doesn't sound nice doesn't mean it isn't. Now I need you guys to drink this juice.

Angelica than reached into an ice chest behind her and pulled out two juice boxes that said "DBABJ".

Chuckie: Why?

Angelica: It makes you do better at basketball, I found them at Sandy's house.

Tommy then looked at the juice boxes in a sort of angry look.

Tommy: But I don't wanna be a cheater Angelica.

Angelica: Don't think of it as cheating, think of it as trying to make yourself better at the game.

Chuckie: That still sounds like cheating to me, so no thanks.

Tommy and Chuckie then walked away from Angelica to talk with each other.

Chuckie: So Tommy, how did you know how to count all the way up to 3 when you told me how many more times we had to play?

Tommy: I didn't, that's just what the guy wearing the stripe shirt said.

Angelica: I can't let these babies lose or else I lose a whole lot of cookies to the McNulty kid in our bet.

Angelica then looked up and saw Tommy's bottle and Chuckie's sippy cup that were already filled with milk. They were sat on a table just a few inches taller than her. She then had the perfect plan. She reached up for the bottle and sippy cup and then poured the special juice inside of them.

Angelica: Hey babies, you may want to drink some milk so you don't get thirsty while you're playing.

Tommy: Good idea Angelica.

Tommy and Chuckie then took their bottle and cup from Angelica and each took a sip.

Chuckie: This milk tastes a little funny.

Tommy: True, but it's still milk.

Tommy and Chuckie then drank the rest of the milk/do better at basketball juice.

**Meanwhile in Spongebob and Patrick's locker room**

Patrick: We're getting killed out there.

Spongebob: But Patrick, we're only losing by 5 points.

Patrick: Yes, meaning we'll need two 3-point shots to make the lead. Do you know how hard that is?

Spongebob: Yeah I see how that's hard because we're far away from the basket. But we could still get in the lead with three 2-point shots.

Patrick: Those are hard too though. You're so close to the basket that the balls hits the side of the rim and slams you in the face.

To Spongebob and Patrick's complete surprise Mr. Krabs walked up to them. They didn't even know he was aware of this basketball game happening.

Mr. Krabs: Well you're gonna have to get a mask because you need to start scoring.

Spongebob: Mr. Krabs, what are you doing here?

Mr. Krabs: I'm here to tell you guys how to win. Because before the game started, I made The Krusty Krab your guys' team sponsor. So you have to beat Tommy and Chuckie not only for the publicity for The Krusty Krab, but more importantly because I'm your boss and I told you too.

Patrick: Hey you're not my boss, you can't tell me what to do.

Mr. Krabs: If you go out and play then I'll uhhhh, give you a 1 cent off coupon for one extra extra extra extra extra extra extra extra small Krabby Patty.

Patrick: Ok then we have a deal.

Patrick and Mr. Krabs then shook hands.

Spongebob: No Patrick's right. Tommy and Chuckie beat us in the first two quarters, so what are the odds that we'll win?

Mr. Krabs: If you don't go out in play, then you're fired!

Spongebob's eyes then turned backwards and he fainted because hearing the words "You're Fired" together would always scare him into complete shock. 26 minutes had past until Spongebob finally got up.

Spongebob: Oh...what happened?

Mr. Krabs: You fainted. But more importantly, do you remember what I said earlier?

Spongebob then immediately got up on his feet and screamed.

Spongebob: Ok, I'll go play. I promise.

Bert Traffics: Half-time is now over.

Crowd: Yeah!

Patrick: That's our que.

Tommy: Good bye bye Angelica.

Angelica: Don't have fun, because the whole point is to win.

Traffics: The 7th Inning stretch is over and it's time for the 9th frame.

Spongebob: Wrong sports announcer guy!

Traffics: I don't care.


	5. The Third Quarter

Traffics: Are you guys ready for the third quarter?

Crowd: No!

Traffics: Oh not again. How 'bout now?

Crowd: Sure!

Traffics: Ok! Time for the tip-off.

Tommy got the tip-off and got up close to him and Chuckie's basket. Once there, he made a shot but Spongebob jumped and stoal it while it was in the air.

Tommy: Hey! That's my ball!

Spongebob: Actually, it's the CEO of Spalding's ball.

Tommy walked over to Spongebob and took the ball right out of it's hands.

Spongebob: You can't do that. Everybody knows it's against the rules to steal it before the person who has it has moved.

Spongebob then did to Tommy what he had to him.

Tommy: No it's not.

Tommy took the basketball back. Then Spongebob did too.

Traffics: Oh come on!

**Several Minutes Later**

Tommy took the basketball away from Spongebob and then started running backwards while dribbling it until he got about 26 inches away from center court.

Chuckie: Tommy that's the wrong way.

Tommy: Good.

Tommy jumped as high as he could and soared all the way to the hoop and dunked it.

Crowd: Yeah! Go Tommy! Go kid in the Pickles family! Go the kid who keeps a toy screwdriver in his diaper!

Tommy was hanging onto the basket for 15 seconds until he finnaly let go and landed on his feet.

Tommy: Yeah! We love basketball!

Patrick: Timeout! Timeout!

Traffics: Star calls a timeout with exactly 1 minute left in the quarter. Which is good because I have to decide whether to give Tommy's team 3 or 2 points.

Patrick: Spongebob, I can't believe you just wasted an entire 8 out of 9 minutes.

Spongebob: Tommy started it.

Chuckie: How did you do that Tommy?

Tommy: It's natural abillity because I have the same name as the guy who invented this game.

Chuckie: What do you mean?

Tommy: On Planet Sheem they said that Thomas Ebison invented basketball.

Angelica then walked up to the babies so she could correct Tommy.

Angelica: Tommy there's a few things wrong with what you just said. Firstest of all, that show was called Planet Sheen not Planet Sheem.

Tommy: That's what I said, Planet Sheem.

Angelica: Oh, nevermind that one. But thirdly of alll, Thomas Ebison didn't really invent basketball.

Tommy: But that's what they said on the show.

Angelica: Sheen was just saying what he thought had happened. But ninetyithly of all, even if Thomas Ebison had invented basketball that wouldn't be the reason why you did such a cool move.

Tommy: Then what was the reason?

Angelica: Because you guys drank that special juice I gave you.

Chuckie: We didn't drink that stuff.

Angelica: Yes you did, you just don't know it. I put the juice in your milk and that's why it tasted weird.

Tommy and Chuckie both started crying.

Angelica: Why are you two dumb babies crying?

Tommy: Because we're...we're...we're cheaters!

Angelica: Well you can quit your crying because the juice will probably wear off right about...

Tommy and Chuckie's bodies starting shaking like crazy. This funny movement made them stop crying.

Angelica: Now.

Traffics: Attention! Attention please! I've looked over the replay of Tommy's dunk and I've concurred that since he jumped from the 3-point area that he does indeed deserve 3 points.

Crowd: Yeah!

Chuckie: Is that good?

Traffics: Yes it is.

Chuckie: Good.

Traffics: Well this time-out is over. Now let's get back to the game.

The referee gave Patrick the ball and then he passed it to Spongebob. Tommy ran over to him and tried to steal, but it was no good.

Spongebob: You're dreaming if you think you'll get to do that again.

Spongebob shot the ball in the air. It hit the side of the rim then bounced back to Spongebob and slammed him in the face. Spongebob then fell down and couldn't speak.

Patrick: I told you that would happen Spongebob.

Tommy: Patrick, I think Spongebob got hurt.

Patrick: Oh-no!

Patrick ran over to Spongebob to see if he was ok.

Patrick: I'll have to give him mouth to mouth resistation.

Patrick began to lean down but then stopped before he even touched Spongebob.

Patrick: No I can't. There's just too many people in the world who still believe in that horrible rumor. Anybody else wanna volunteer to save Spongebob's life?

Spongebob: Don't worry Patrick, I'm fine.

Spongebob got up off the floor except now his left eye was blackened.

Tommy: Oooohhh! What's wrong with your eye?

Spongebob: It's nothing too worry about. This has happened to me before, twice.

Patrick: Can you still see straight?

Spongebob: Of coarse I can see straight.

Patrick: Well how many fingers am I holding up?

Patrick lifted his hand up in front of Spongebob's face. But Spongebob didn't answer because he knew his friend was being really stupid.

Spongebob: You don't have any fingers Patrick.

Patrick: Oh yeah I forgot.

Tommy: Well then see if you can still make a basket.

Tommy picked up the basketball and handed it to Spongebob. Spongebob shot it for the hoop and it went in.

Traffics: Two points for Team Spongebob and Patrick. Making the score 43-37.

Chuckie: Why? He was just practicing.

Traffics: True. But nobody ever called a time-out. In fact this quarter will be over in one second.

Scoreboard: Beep!

Unlike before Tommy and Chuckie didn't cry.

Patrick: Oh thank goodness! They've gotten used to it.

Traffics: Congratulations audience. You've experienced the most usesless basketball quarter of all time.

Tommy: That's totally unfair how Spongebob got those points.

Traffics: No, what's unfair is Angelica giving you two some illegal Do Better At Basketball Juice.

Angelica: What do you mean illegal?

Traffics: 15 years ago there was a basketball player who was allergic to Gatorade. He created DBABJ as an alternative to it. It made him do so good that his team won the championship that they didn't even deserve to be in. It's been banned ever since then.

Two Bikini Bottom police officers came up to Angelica. Each one of them took one of her hands and lifted her up.

Police Officer #1: You got no reason to explain yourself, becasue we know that you had to have gotten it from a guy.

Angelica: But I didn't. I got them from Sandy's house.

Police Officer #2: That's because you told the guy to put it there.

Traffics: Take her away officers.

Angelica: But it wasn't my fault!

The two police officers took Angelica back to the Bikini Bottom prison where she would have to stay for 15 days.

Crowd: Yeah!

Traffics: Now while the players get ready for next quarter, I'm gonna go bet 100 dollars that everything that happened in this one is gonna be the top story on NSPN tonight.


	6. The Fourth Quarter

"I'm so excited! It's time to start the 4th and final quarter." said Traffics.

"Yeah!" the crowd cheered.

"However, it isn't the final chapter of this fanfic. There is going to be one more about what happens after the game." Traffics explained to the readers. "But there are still no signs of any of the play..." he started to say.

Before Bert Traffics could finish his sentence, Spongebob and Patrick came out of their locker room.

"I stand corrected." said Traffics. "But our 2 little Rugrats are still nowhere to be seen." he said.

Tommy and Chuckie both came out of their locker rooms.

"I stand corrected again." Traffics said.

All the players gathered at center court where they saw the referee once again.

"Are you all ready for the tip-off?" the referee asked Spongebob, Tommy, Patrick, and Chuckie.

"Yes!" Spongebob, Patrick, Tommy, and Chuckie all said at once.

The referee threw the ball up in the air and Patrick caught it. Once he was close to the basket, Patrick tripped and the ball slipped from his hands. Chuckie ran over to Patrick and grabbed the ball.

"Hey!" Patrick shouted angrily.

Chuckie ran the basketball over to his and Tommy's basket and dunked it.

"It is now Team Tommy & Chuckie 45, Team Spongebob & Patrick 37." Traffics explained.

"This is intense." Spongebob commented as he looked down on the ground sweating.

Spongebob took the basketball from the referee and passed it to Patrick. Patrick dribbled the ball at center court with Tommy and Chuckie in his way.

"Those little Rugrats are too good at this game." Patrick thought to himself. "TIMEOUT!" he shouted.

"Star calls a timeout..again." said Traffics.

Patrick ran out the building and all the way to the library. He checked out a book entitled "Basketball Official Rules" and made a few modifications too it. He then ran back to Nickelodeon studios so he could finish the game.

"Can I have everybody's attention?" Traffics asked loudly. "I have a very important announcement." he said once he had everyone's attention. "It appears that the rules of basketball have been changed. The new rules state that when someone makes a basket, the ball doesn't go to the other team. It goes to whoever catches it first." Traffics explained.

The referee gave the ball to Patrick. He ran right next to the basket and shot the ball. It went in. He caught the ball when it exited the hoop then shot it again. It went in. This went on over and over again until Team Spongebob and Patrick had 100 points.

"TIMEOUT!" Tommy yelled.

"Pickles calls a timeout." said Traffics. "The score is 100 to 45." he continued.

"I don't like this new rule too much." said Tommy.

"Why not?" Chuckie asked.

"Because now Patrick can shoot eleventy gazillion baskets in a row like he just did." answered Tommy.

"True, but so can we." Chuckie explained.

"You're right Chuckie." Tommy complemented.

"Time's up for the timeout." Traffics explained.

All the players got back on the court. The referee passed the ball to Patrick. Tommy then stole the ball from Patrick right after he got it. Tommy ran over to his team's basket and shot the ball. He then kept doing over and over what Patrick was doing until finally the game was tied.

"I cannot believe this folks! The game is tied 100-100!" Traffics shouted. "And there's only 5 seconds left!" he continued.

Tommy shot the ball one more time but it hit the rim and went out of bounds. The referee picked up the ball and passed it to Spongebob.

"5..." Traffics and the crowd cheered.

Spongebob shot the ball to his basket. Tommy then, very quickly, pulled his bottle out of his diaper.

"4..." Traffics and the crowd cheered.

Tommy threw the bottle at the basketball which made it turn around and fly towards Chuckie and his basket.

"3...2..." Traffics and the crowd cheered.

The basketball went in.

"1..." Traffics and the crowd cheered.

**Beep!**

"Noooooooooooo!" Spongebob and Patrick cried.

"And that's the game. Team Tommy and Chuckie 103, Team Spongebob and Patrick 100." said Traffics.

"Yeah!" the crowd cheered one final time.

The crowd then disappeared.

"What the?" all the players said in confusion.

"Well didn't you know?" Traffics asked. "The crowd was just an animated graphic." he explained.

Tommy, Chuckie, Spongebob, and Patrick all nodded no.

"Well, I'm going home now." Traffics said as he walked out the door.

"Us too." Tommy and Chuckie both said as they walked out the door, but not until Bert Traffics was gone.


	7. After The Game

After Tommy and Chuckie left, Spongebob and Patrick just sat at center court sad and depressed. Mr. Krabs walked in.

"Patrick, do you still have that coupon for 1 cent off one extra extra extra extra extra extra extra extra small Krabby Patty?" Mr. Krabs asked.

"Yeah." Patrick said as he held up the coupon.

Mr. Krabs reached his claw out and snatched the coupon right out of Patrick's hands. He then walked away.

"This is depressing Patrick." said Spongebob.

"I know." Patrick agreed. "But I know what will cheer us up." he continued.

"What's that?" Spongebob asked.

"Let's make this game into an animated short film." answered Patrick.

"Great idea." Spongebob commented. "Then maybe we can get it turned into a book." he continued.

"That's good." Patrick commented. "Let's go get a deal with Scholastic." he said as him and Spongebob ran out of the gym.

**Back at Tommy's House**

Tommy and Chuckie walked through the front door and they saw Grandpa sleeping on the armchair and Angelica standing right next to him.

"You two kicked butt today and..." Angelica started to say.

"I thought you had to go to jail." Tommy interrupted.

"I did, but I got out on a technicality." said Angelica. "But more importantly, you two are so good at basketball that you should go pro." she continued.

"What does that mean?" Chuckie asked.

"It means that playing basketball is your job." Angelica answered.

"Well why would anybody wanna do that?" Tommy asked.

"So you can win shiny trophies and I, I mean you, can make lots of money." Angelica explained.

"No thanks Angelica." Tommy and Chuckie both said at the same time.

"What?" Angelica said in shock. "Why not?" she asked.

"Well I don't wanna play basketball because I wanna be a movie guy who says "Cut!" alot." Tommy answered.

"And I don't wanna play basketball because it's just way too long." Chuckie admitted.

"But..." said Angelica.

"And it doesn't matter anyway because wed goota go write the next episode of Rugrats." said Tommy.

Tonmmy and Chuckie both crawled up stairs and went into Tommy's room.

"Dumb babies." said Angelica. "They don't wanna play basketball and they don't know that Rugrats was cancelled 7 years ago." she continued.

**The End**


End file.
